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I’m Still Alive
Current mood: betrayed

Not that anyone seems to care. Does anyone care? I’ve really started to wonder. But just in case anyone out there is actually paying attention…

I’m doing my best to get by. Eric’s still a mess, and we’re still trying to get that straightened out. Wish us luck on that one, we need it.
Haven’t done hardly squat for business lately. Auctions are dead, though I did make a little money at Prinnie-Mack (100 Hospital Dr. – Warner Robins, GA 31088). Got several new sets of earings put over there yesterday, if you’re in the area, go take a look. And don’t forget Auntie Griselda’s (66 Davis St. – Payne City/Macon, GA) I still have a full rack of goodies over there.
I’ve been crocheting some clothes for myself as something to do. I’ll have to get photos up of the vest, tank and cami that I made. The last top I made came out really great. I’m doing pretty well for winging this stuff with no pattern. Working on a skirt now, we’ll see how that comes out.
Still suffering from wicked insomnia. How I can still function is beyond me, but I keep going, even though I am kinda losing it lately. Even heavy self-medication didn’t get me to sleep, so I don’t know what the h3ll to do.
Lost a friend recently, at least it appears that way. That p1$$es me off, ’cause it was totally avoidable. Some people are so stupid. You try and try to help them, to reason with them, everyone tells them that they need to change what they’re doing, but they take no heed, and then it’s this total mess. I put a lot into trying to be there for this person, to be a good friend, but it didn’t do a d@mn bit of good. All I got was stress and heartache. If you ever come to your senses, I’d love to hear from you. If you’re sticking with this insanity though, you might want to come over and get your cr@p out of our house so we don’t have to look at it anymore. We love you, but there’s only so much someone can take.
Had the house to ourselves this week, which was kinda nice. Too bad the cat has her internal “feed me” clock set to oh-fVck-thrity in the morning. I think I’m this [__] close to making myself a new pair of fur slippers. Watch your back Sylvara!
Not much else going on, except me feeling kind of alone in the world. I have tried to contact people, be nice, say hi and all that, but it’s like no one would notice if I fell off the face of the Earth tomorrow. I know people have their lives and all that, but c’mon, is it really so hard to just say “hey, how’s it goin’” or “been thinking about you” once in a while? As for the couple people who have been around, thank you.

Update on me…
Current mood: drained
Category: Life

I know I haven’t posted a blog in ages, so for those that care, this is an update as to what’s been going on…

Eric has been really sick… Well, actually, totally fu(k3d up would be a better description. Cluster headaches is what they’re calling it right now, but in all honesty, the neurologist is baffled. They’ve eliminated stroke, carotid dissection and a few other life-threatening things, but they still don’t really know what’s going on. It’s all about pill experimentation right now. He has some good days, but it’s been pretty rough for the last couple months, on both of us.

I’ve been out of the house a fair bit in the last few weeks. The stress was driving me crazy, and the pain and lack of sleep were just tearing me down. Everyone told me I needed to get away and take a break before I became useless to myself and everyone else, so I actually listened. (Imagine that!) It’s amazing how people I hadn’t seen in years came back into our lives at just right time. I got an old friend back just when I needed them most. I’d be lost without the friendship and escape that this has given me. You know who you are. Thank you.

Then, let’s add insult to injury… My computer got hacked and is little more than a huge paperweight at this moment. Eric tried (when he could) to fix it, but couldn’t, so now I’m waiting for a friend to give it a go. Looks like there may be a total reformat in my future. Yay. I have no idea when I’ll have my system back. Using Mom-in-law’s for now.

I’m sorry I haven’t been calling or contacting anyone. I just haven’t had the energy. Not to mention I’ve been running on a short fuse lately. Hardly anyone ever checks in to see if I’m dead or alive, so I haven’t bothered anymore either. There’s only so much reaching out I can do without getting any back. At the urgance of some of thepeople that do truly care, I’ve been concentrating more on taking care of me. I’ve given more than I could really spare, and it’s taken it’s toll. Now’s the time for healing and making myself into a whole person again. Words of kindness and friendship are appreciated though. It would mean a lot.

I don’t know how often I’ll be getting online, I guess a lot of that depends on when my system gets fixed. I’ll be checking from this comp at least twice a week though so my mail and whatnot don’t build up too much.

I guess that’s all… If anyone wants to e-mail or call, cool. If not… well, at least you all know what’s going on.

I Need to Quit Smoking… Help?
Current mood: determined
Category: Life

Well, I’m sure you all know that I tried to quit smoking. It hasn’t worked out as well as I’d hoped. I thought it was going to be fairly easy, but it’s turned out to be quite a challenge. I have cut down quite a bit, but still haven’t kicked it yet. Anyone have any tips on quitting? I really want to do this, because it’ll be better for my health, and save money too. I’ve tried the chewing gum thing, and oddly that makes me want to smoke more, probably because I got into the habit of having a smoke after eating, and chewing is kinda like eating. If anyone knows of any tricks for breaking the habit, or any natural substances that can reduce the urge, or make cigarettes less appealing, I’m ready to hear them.

I know that a portion of it is just my faltering willpower, but cigarettes are pretty hard to kick for most people. I’m not going to mess with that Nicorette cr@p or anything like that. It’s massively expensive, and just puts nicotine into you in a different way. I’m going natural or nothing. So, anyone have any ideas? One way or another, this girl is going to be smoke-free before 2009!