T’was the night before Yule, and I wasn’t sleeping.
My husband was snoring, and the bird, he was beeping.
Then to our surprise, there arose such a clatter,
We rose from the bed to see what was the matter.
We put on some clothes and looked out the door,
Dangit, I’m sorry, I can’t rhyme anymore!
Anyway, turns out the noise was M-I-L and Zack moving stuff around to make room for the pile of presents to people who were not us. So we’re awake. Earlier than we wanted. We were expecting a call from someone from Craig’s List, a little good news, they were interested in my old camera.
Well, there comes a banging at the door, we’re thinking it’s the guy for the camera. No, it’s this startled looking red-headed young guy who stares at me and says “You got a phone? This guy fell out up here and I think he’s dead.” Holy cr@p! We know the guy right there up the hill, and we’re thinking it’s him, and fearing the worst. Eric grabs the cell and goes running off across the lawn, through the woods that separate the properties, and up to the house, which is in renovation shambles. Fire truck with EMT’s gets here pretty fast. Turns out it’s not the friend we thought, it’s another friend, the family handyman. He’s fallen and hit his head, is bleeding and not looking well. After all is said and done, he’s OK they think, but seems like he may have fallen from a heart attack. Now we try to calm down.
So the guy comes and buys the camera, and the old junker computer, so we have a bit of money now. Cool.
Eric and Zack decide to go to his brother’s house to borrow some games to play. I’m upset I can’t get out of the house to go with them (too much junk in Z’s car), but I use the time to wrap my handbade gifts to the family, and try to feel better that at least I had made gifts, and had something to give.
They get back, Z got a flat tire! Yay, right? It gets better! Some guy backed into the front of his car, then sped off! So add hit & run to the day! The car was dented, but not horribly, and they were stunned but OK. We alternate between laughing at the mess of a holiday and sighing in distress.
So we think the day is getting better… Eric makes and amazing steak with sauteed onions (we splurged for our holiday dinner, it’s only once a year, after all.) I do my honey butter carrots, we all have a wonderful and super-filling meal, then play some board games. Z wins them all, big surprise!
So then Zack is playing with the bird and we get to talking about clipping his nails, which are far too long. After a while of messing about we decide to give Stoli a trim. First clip sends him flying around the room. Second gets a flutter… it gets easier, kinda. Last nail! We figure all is well… think again! Stoli twitches, and I cut the quick, suddenly he’s bleeding all over me. Panic ensues. We go for flour to stop the bleeding. Good luck there. Doesn’t work. Eric gets sent away ’cause he’s getting to emotional. Zack and I try to handle the situation. Flour isn’t working, bird is getting stressed, I’m getting nauseous from stress and concern. Finally, with blood over both of us, I remember the NikStop I have in the bathroom for people’s cuts. I figure we need to try, a hemopheliac bird bleeding like that is not good. I get him to step on the applicator… He squeals and recoils, guess it hit the spot. After a while, the bleeding slows. Whew! We keep watch, and luckily, today Stoli is playful and happy as ever, despite the blood on his feathers.
What a mess! We play some poker, Z cleans us out, though I did OK for a while. I got called Lucky B!tch a lot.
Last night, no sleep, Eric woke up with a headache and a hangover, Z has a hangover and forgot parts of last night. This is what happens when Zack offers up his alcohol. I fortunately, had very little, mostly drank juice.
Some holiday eh? I’m trying to just remember the steak dinner (I’d forgotten what steak tasted like) and the games and the little bit of money. Just the good stuff. But I tell ya, we’re hoping we NEVER have another holiday like that!