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I can’t help wondering (and rather often) why bad things happen to good people. If there is a God, I really have to wonder what they’re thinking most of the time.

There are so many people in the world who are evil, rotten pieces of shit, and they get away with everything, they get money, they have all the luck… I simply don’t understand it. They get everything, while people who try to be kind and giving, people who work their asses off and do all they can, get shit on and fucked over at every possible turn.

It’s really hard to have any faith, and it makes me wonder why I even try anymore. I work so hard, I try everything I can, and yet things just won’t work for me. It’s not fair and it’s not right. I have been busting my ass for a long time. I deserve to have a better life than this. What I have now is just surviving, not living.

There is really no reason why all the things I’m doing aren’t making as much money for me as they are for other people I know. I do the same things, I do more and work harder, and nothing comes of it. What gives? If there’s a God, does it hate me? Is there something standing in the way of my success and happiness that I just can’t see? I wish I knew what th efuck was going on so that I could make it right.

I suppose the fact that I have basically no real friends has something to do with it. Most other people have friends and family that care about them and help them out. I have no one. I know a lot of people, but 98% of them don’t seem to really give half a fuck about me. I try to be good to people, I listen to their problems, do whatever I can for them, but they can’t even do things for me that cost nothing and only require them to use a few minutes of their life. It’s sad really, that people aren’t even willing to do things to help me out that are free. How cheap and selfish can you be? I’m broke to the extreme, and I still help people whenever I can.

I really wish I had some friends. It would be nice to have people to help me remember why I haven’t killed myself yet, and help me keep going in the hopes of better things. Having emtional support means a lot, but it’s something I’ve been without for a long time.

I’m not ready to give up yet, but those suicidal thoughts are getting stronger and stronger. I’m pushing myself beyond my limits, and getting nothing for it. If my life doesn’t get better soon, I don’t think I’m going to have any reason to keep living it. for now though, I do what I do, and I pray to whatever might hear me for guidance and change. Maybe something or someone will have mercy on me, and make this suffering stop.

Related posts:

1. Trying to work out how to make it happen
2. Looking for people in Maine
3. Trying to keep things going
4. Reasons why I keep going: A home of my own
5. The new way of thinking, and friends

Tags: asses, better life, everything, faith, few minutes, luck, real friends, reason, turn, why bad things happen to good people, why do bad things happen to good people, work