When you’re writing online you may want to be seen as an authority in your field. You want your readers to feel like you know what you’re talking about and that they can trust you. So, you usually try to stick to your guns and not say things that you might not be willing or able to stick with later. Unfortunately, life happens.
In one of my recent posts I revealed that I’d lost my balance in life. I strayed off the track and got way too fluffy for my own good. Well, during that time when I got off track, I said some things and thought some things that I’m not willing to stand behind anymore.
That’s where the title comes from. I can just see the following comment exchange between a reader and myself:
“Well last week you said such-n-such, and now you’re saying something else.”
“Forget what I said last week. That was then, and this is now.”
Here’s the thing, everybody screws up. We all make mistakes. ALL of us, no exceptions. As awesome as I am, I am still flawed. Yes, I admit it. And really, it takes a pretty big person to admit that they can totally hose something, especially publicly. But I did. Now I’m fixing it. Luckily I didn’t do or say anything that I regret. What I did do was get too “good”. I lost my passion, and it started to show in my writing and in my life. I went too far into the light and lost the dark, twisted and weird that makes me who I am. Fortunately, I can get that back quite easily.
For instance, i said I was going to quit swearing. Now, I think it was a good thing that I eliminated foul language for a while, it taught me that i swore too much. I’ll stay mostly clean, but there are times where I feel some words are required, and I’m going to use them. I also got way too passive, and I need to get that passion and drive back. I’ll likely bring back a bit of the rant in my wisdom.
There’s more, but the thing is, it’s all about balance, and I’m going to get it back. The real lesson is this though: Sh!t happens. You mess up, and you have to live with it. I choose to do it gracefully. I’m not going to freak out or backpedal or worry. I’m moving forward and letting you all know what’s what. In the end, you’ll probably respect and trust me more for admitting I’m both fallible and fixable than if I kept on trying to be someone I never was.
Here’s to a more balanced, more awesome me, and a return to the writing that got you guys so fired up about me in the first place.