I’ve been working on getting Volume 8 of TDSOMM up here on Bubblews, and I was actually stunned when I looked at it. At first I realized that it jumped from 1999 to 2001. Going a year without writing poetry isn’t that unbelievable to me, so that was only a little odd. What I saw in the list after that is what really made me have to take a long hard look at my documents.
I had three poems in 2001, then nothing in 2002, one in 2003, Nothing in 2004 or 2005, five in 2006, nothing in 2007 or 2008 then only one in 2009. That’s a lot of gaps. It’s hard to believe that I really didn’t write anything in all that time.
I know I came down to Georgia in 2005 and I was insanely poor and times were really rough, so I can imagine that my mind was busy during some of that time, but not that much. The years prior to that were rough, but to write only but only four poems in five years? It’s really hard for me to believe that I never wrote anything in all that time.
Honestly, my memory of some of those years (2001-2005) is fuzzy at best. I was really just trying to get through life and I wasn’t happy. I know that I moved a few times and had at least one major computer crash. My brain wants to think that maybe I wrote poetry but it got lost. I also had a lot of things stolen from me when I came down to GA, so maybe some of it was taken. I just can’t believe that I didn’t write anything in all that time.
I suppose it’s possible that I really didn’t. I was doing whatever I had to do to get through life and I was emotionally shut down for a long time. Did I really write nothing? I wish I knew for sure. I don’t know if it’s odd or not, but seeing those gaps makes me want to write more. I keep saying that I’m going to take the time to get back into poetry, but I keep not doing it. There are so many things that I want to do and I keep feeling like I don’t have enough time. I need to do something to make that feeling change.