I’m sitting here on a weekend and once again wondering what the hell to do with myself. I’m trying to think back and I honestly can’t remember if there was a time when I actually used the weekends like most people do. If no one stops me, I work on the weekends, although I tend to do the stuff that I find enjoyable. Fixing code and doing graphics, that kind of stuff. But I find it really hard to just hang out and do basically nothing.

It’s been a long time since I was actually able to think of what “fun” is, and do any of it. I’m not really sure what’s fun. I like to play video games, but that’s about it. I can’t really get outdoors, go to movies or any of that. I’d like to, but the money’s just not there right now for going out, and it’s always like a billion degrees out and nowhere to go anyway. So what am I supposed to do with myself?

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I just saw a quote, and posted another, and they both get me to thinking about the topic of success.

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”
- Albert Schweitzer

“Enthusiasm spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.”
- Norman Vincent Peale

Part of what got me taking a whole new direction was the fact that I haven’t been happy, and learning and implementing all the “rules” was making me hate everything about what I do for a living. If I’m unhappy and hating what I do, how can I be successful? Even if I found success, would it make all the daily grind worth it? Probably not.

I actually stopped going to the FaceBook groups for Zazzle, CafePress and writers some time back because they were, more often than not, flooded with people complaining about their problems and whining about their lack of success and how much they hated all the work that went into getting, well, hardly anything in return. It was depressing. I already know it can be hard, I didn’t need constant reminders.

My theory is that when you’re unhappy and everything you do seems to suck, it goes out into your work, and people feel it. Yeah, that’s some flaky, crystal-waving shit to some of you, but I believe it. Just as an example, the art I’ve had fun with and loved has sold more than the stuff I made specifically because I thought it would sell. Coincidence? maybe so, but maybe not. If you listen to a lot of people out there, the same “coincidence” happens to them too.

So I’m going to just live my life. I’ll do what I do, when I can, as much as I can. I’ll talk about it, I’ll put it out there, and I’ll let it go. I’m of course going to try to get sales, but I’m going to let go of the despair and desperation to get more now. It’ll come, I just have to know that, and I have to know that my love and joy will go out with every piece of art, writing or jewelry that I create when my heart’s really in it.

You’ve got to love what you do. I think even if you get a lot of money, if you hate the work that goes into it, the money’s not going to make you happy enough. Love, enjoy, share that with the world, only good can come of that.