I’m being reminded right now how important communication is between people. I’m shaking like a leaf because I hate conflict and drama, but that’s what happens when people don’t or can’t talk to each other. There’s a serious communication problem in my household, and it stresses me out to no end.

People need to learn how to talk to each other, and not create an atmosphere where people are afraid to say anything to one another. One person won’t talk because the other person always cries, the other person won’t talk because they’re always seeing everything as an attack. Someone else won’t talk because they don’t want the stress, and someone else won’t talk because it never seems to do any good. It creates stress, discomfort, misunderstanding, and anything but a happy home.

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I was sitting here thinking about how I haven’t met the goals I want for my life yet. As that was running through my head and I was trying to think of how to get where I want to be, I started thinking about all that I have done. What’s more, I started thinking of how no one thought I would.

Growing up I was constantly told that I was stupid, ugly, useless, worthless and I’d never amount to anything. I’d never have success or anything good in my life, because I was just living, breathing suck. Yes, I had a seriously fucked up childhood. I may not be rich and famous yet, but I can say for certain I’ve done more than any of them thought I would, and without a doubt more than any of them ever has or ever will.

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I was just watching Zookeeper and thinking about the way the people were acting in it. I know the movie itself is all about being who you really are, but the sad fact is there are people who totally miss the point, and people who actually act like what was depicted in the movie.

Griffin became something that he wasn’t in order to try to win a girl who wasn’t even right for him. Unfortunately, a lot of people do this, and actually women do it more than men. People will change everything about themselves in order to get someone to want them. The thing is, if they want you to change to suit their desires, then they’re not right for you. Eventually, the relationship is going to fall apart because you don’t really become what they want, or because you realize you’re miserable pretending to be someone else.

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I think about people I know and people I’ve seen, and I wonder why anyone would choose to be stupid. If you have the opportunity to learn and make yourself a better person, why wouldn’t you? It makes no sense to me at all.

Just as an example: A person has horrible grammar, pronunciation and often uses words wrong. People around them correct them and try to encourage them to speak correctly. After every correction they just say “Whatever”, “Toe-may-toe toe-mah-toe” or they get pissed off. WTF? That pisses me off!     Why would you not want to learn to speak properly?

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If you’ve been following me on FaceBook over the last few months you know that I’ve been looking to add a new man to my life. Unfortunately, I haven’t found anyone yet, so the search continues. I’m trying not to get discouraged, but things certainly aren’t turning out the way I’d hoped.

I wasn’t about to waste my money on a paid dating site, so I set myself up on OkCupid. It came highly recommended, so I thought it would be a good place outside of FaceBook and the blog to try to find someone. It hasn’t really panned out. I updated my profile and I’m answering more questions so I get better matches, but so far I’ve been disappointed.

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